The Meaning Behind The Song: If thou must love me… (Sonnet 14) by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
“I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day”—
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry:
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity
Table of Contents
Album title: ‘Sonnets from the Portuguese’
Introduction
Elizabeth Barrett Browning (EBB) lived in the Victorian era, a time when society was ruled by religion, convention, tradition, and male superiority. Despite facing numerous physical and social barriers as a single woman, EBB found solace, love, purpose, and hope through her relationship with Robert Browning. Through her non-compliance with societal norms and her reversal of traditional gender roles, she displayed a strong feminist spirit. In her sonnet “If thou must love me… (Sonnet 14),” EBB expresses her desire for true love, devoid of superficial attributes.
Analysis
“If thou must love me… (Sonnet 14)” reflects EBB’s yearning for a love founded on genuine affection rather than external qualities. The opening line, “If thou must love me, let it be for nought,” sets the tone for the entire sonnet. It emphasizes her desire for a love that exists solely for the sake of love itself, without any ulterior motives.
EBB urges her beloved not to confess love for her based on her physical appearance, expressions, or mannerisms. She warns against valuing her for transient attributes that might change over time. Instead, she desires a love that will endure even if circumstances alter—a love that remains constant and unwavering.
The sonnet further delves into the notion of love born out of pity. EBB rejects the idea of being loved out of someone’s pity for her hardships, such as wiping her tears dry. She acknowledges the potential danger of a love founded on pity, as it may fade if the person no longer feels sorry for her. She challenges her beloved to love her for who she is and for the pure essence of love itself.
Personal Connection
I remember the first time I heard this sonnet by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It was during my high school English literature class, and I was immediately captivated by its depth and vulnerability. The sonnet’s themes of genuine love and the rejection of superficiality resonated with me deeply.
This song reminds me of the importance of valuing someone for who they truly are, rather than solely focusing on external qualities. It encourages us to seek authentic connections based on love’s eternal essence, rather than fleeting and superficial attributes.
I have a happy memory with this sonnet as it was recited during my best friend’s wedding ceremony. The bride and groom chose meaningful verses that reflected their genuine love for each other, and EBB’s words beautifully encapsulated the essence of their relationship.
Once, I confused this sonnet with another famous love poem, and that mix-up led me to discover the incredible body of work by Elizabeth Barrett Browning. It was a fortuitous mistake that introduced me to the depth and beauty of her poetry.
Conclusion
“If thou must love me… (Sonnet 14)” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning serves as a poignant expression of EBB’s desire for genuine love devoid of superficiality. As she challenges her beloved not to love her for transient attributes or through pity, she encourages a love based on the eternal essence of love itself. The sonnet’s timeless themes continue to resonate with listeners, reminding us to seek authentic connections founded on true affection and appreciation for one another.
