Coldplay - Clocks Lyrics Meaning

This song reminds me of my lost First True Love. We were SO in love, it was like the world kept spinning but we were still, staring in each other's eyes. I swear she was all I could see. But eventually we broke up, and she left me...not for another person, but just to go on with life. The problem with that is, it left me hoping that we could still get back together. Day after day, month after month, I harbored this ill-begotten hope. Over time it got better; clocks kept ticking, years went by. Finally I was able to love again, but my First Love will always be deep in my heart.

The lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Have brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead singing

Two interpretations here:
1. During the day I could distract myself, feel normal, not think about her....but at night, when I'd turn out the lights to go to sleep, not being beside her made me feel such anguish! It all came crashing down on me in the lonesome darkness of my bedroom. I would pray to God for some relief from being in love with someone who didn't love me anymore.
2. My first opportunity to have sex after we broke up, I couldn't do it. This is so embarrassing to remember! We were alone, clothes off, then the lights went out and I couldn't get aroused. It's like "she" was there. I was "begging and pleading" for myself to get aroused, to perform, but I ultimately had to beg and plead forgiveness. I told this girl I still loved my ex...and she said it was ok, but I never saw her again. Luckily I got over that (for the most part).

Come out of things unsaid
Shoot an apple off my head and a
Trouble that can't be named
A tiger's waiting to be tamed singing

When I started dating again, whenever we'd drive past places my ex and I went, I'd get these...feelings. However, no way was I going to be able to express them. The places and the memories had to remain "things unsaid", but I felt them. "Shoot an apple off my head" is kind of like the dread on a date of passing one of the places that we shared and going right back to the past in my head, thus ruining the date.

Also, I know anyone in a relationship has had one of these moments: we're just driving along going to wherever, and my date says, "What are you thinking?" Oh God, I'm in trouble now! I'm thinking about "her" but I can't say her name to my date! That is the trouble that can't be named. And since I can't control when I'm going to think about her, She is the tiger in my head that can't be tamed. (BTW, if your date asks you what you're thinking, just say "politics" LOL.)

You are
You are

This is sung to "her". Anywhere, any time, any place, no matter who I'm with, she is...

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know singing

Like I said before, she didn't leave me for someone else. She just didn't need me, I guess. So, even to this day I'm left wondering. "Closing walls and ticking clocks" reminds me of time I spent sitting alone trying to figure this all out. It was a waste of time, because there was no explanation. After our breakup, we still saw each other, but she moved to a town 80 miles away. I visited her as often as I could, even breaking the car down and having to ask my parents to come get me one time. But every time I visited her, I felt like this time I was going to come back and take her home. Or, if she'd asked me, I would have moved in with her and made her home my home too. I was so co-dependent on her, I "could not stop that" behavior. I was out of control.

Come out upon my seas,
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease, singing

I'm asea, adrift without her. The first line invites the listener to come and feel what I feel, get in my "boat" for a moment. "Cursed missed opportunities" is self-explanatory, but here's an example. After we broke up, I went to visit her one time. I don't know exactly how it happened, but we ended up having sex (I don't say "making love" because we were broken up, after all). Anyhow, in the middle of the night, I had to leave to get back home. What I needed to come home for, I can't even remember now! Today, over and over in my mind, I think that if we'd woken up in each others arms that morning, we'd still be together today! Talk about a missed opportunity!

Someone told me one time that the only one who could get me over her was me. Not her (she wasn't even around any more). So, I had to stop thinking about her and get on with my life. MY thinking about her, obsessing, was part of the disease. MY stopping thinking about her, getting back out there with a social life, taking chances, kissing someone else, etc., that was part of the cure.

You are, you are, you are
You are, you are, you are

And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

I eventually got married, and so did she. She has two kids now, and is happy. I saw her for the first time in like 20 years, and we had lunch. Now we both know we can't go back, but we agreed no other relationship was like that one we had back then. Nothing else compares. (Oh, and about that confusion I mentioned earlier: I did ask her what the hell happened back then to make her leave me. Her answer: "I don't know". Can you believe it?! I have to laugh...or else I have to cry.

You are
You are

Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go
Home, home where I wanted to go

We never made a home together, but we did get engaged and we talked about having four kids and even what their names would be and everything! "Home" was where I wanted to go, but in the end it was not where she wanted to go.

Anyhow, CLOCKS keep ticking, and hopefully time heals all wounds.

Apologies to Coldplay if this is not what you meant.